Jacques Clouseau & Dan Cunningham

Ph.D. in Mathematics
Professors of Mathematics 
SUNY Buffalo State

How can such an idiot be a mathematics professor? 

– Chief Professor Dreyfus

It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this.

– Bertand Russell

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity;  however, I'm still not sure about the universe.

– Albert Einstein

The folly of mistaking a metaphor for a proof, a torrent of verbiage for a spring of capital truths, and oneself as an oracle, is inborn in us.

– Ray Bradbury quoting
   Paul Vale'ry

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.          

– Seneca

Those who know, do. Those who understand, teach.

– Aristotle

In the course of time I have come to accept this viewpoint as the didactically sound one: before going into esoteric niceties one should develop a certain feeling for the subject and obtain a reasonable amount of plain working knowledge.

– Dirk van Dalen

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance -- it is the illusion of knowledge.   

– Daniel J. Boorstin

Well done is better than well said.

– Benjamin Franklin

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us worthy evidence of the fact. 

– George Eliot

Gott hat die Zahlen gemacht, alles andere ist Menschenwerk.

– Leopold Kronecker

Computers are important, but not to mathematics.

– Paul Halmos

I understand mathematics; I just cannot do proofs.

– Anonymous

Mathematicians care no more for logic than logicians for mathematics.

– Augustus de Morgan

Pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas.

– Albert Einstein

Pure mathematics is on the whole distinctly more useful than applied. For what is useful above all is technique,  and mathematical technique is taught mainly through pure mathematics.

– G. H. Hardy

There is no God more devine than yourself.

– Walt Whitman

Peace is not merely the absence of war, but the presence of justice.

– Martin Luther King, J

It doesn’t matter to which God you pray. Precious time is slipping away.

Van Morrison

Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.

– Seneca
The difference between treason and patriotism is only a matter of dates.

Alexandre Dumas

Feminism encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians. (1992 Republican Convention)

Pat Robertson

On the subject of Pat Buchanan’s famously combative “culture war speech” at the 1992 Republican Convention, which attracted controversy over Buchanan’s aggressive rhetoric against Bill Clinton, liberals, supporters of reproductive and gay rights, and for his comparison of American politics to religious warfare, Molly Ivins famously quipped that the speech had “probably sounded better in the original German.”

– Molly Ivins

As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their hearts desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

– H. L. Mencken

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

– H. L. Mencken

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

– H. L. Mencken

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful – and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people – and neither do we.

You're working hard to put food on your family.

I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me.

– George W. Bush

– George W. Bush

– George W. Bush

... the killers in high places say their prayers out loud.

– Leonard Cohen

There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.

– Leonard Cohen

They will never find a cure for love.

– Leonard Cohen

All I want is the truth, just give me some truth.

– John Lennon

Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation can be trusted to act humanely or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.

– Bertrand Russell

Bush admitted that his pre-war intelligence wasn't what it should have been. We knew that when we elected him!

– Jay Leno

As you know President Bush gave his State of the Union Address, interrupted 70 times by applause and 45 times by really big words.

– Jay Leno